“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.” – Ephesians 5:3
Ladies, not even a HINT.
I haven’t even started typing and I am already getting teary thinking on this subject. I want to be forthcoming with you, as my sisters in Christ, and knowing that Romans 8 is for all those who are in Jesus; me and you.
I bring up Romans 8 “Now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” because I have to begin this with confessing that I have been a woman of impurity.
Years ago, I started watching more and more “entertainment” that had sexual content in it – which gave birth to a porn addiction. Romans 8 is important to me because I carried shame for YEARS, even after repenting from those sins. And that is not Biblical. Jesus paid it ALL – our past, our present, and our future sins.
My debt has been completely paid off in Jesus, through His grace. I wanted to be transparent, sharing that I know first hand how dangerous this sin is. It is a cancer that kills you and then destroys the ones around you.
God disciplined me multiple times for my wretched sin and His mercies have truly been new every morning. I no longer have a porn problem. Recently I have started to pray daily that God would give me a Holy hatred for this sin.
I want to HATE it with a fierceness. Not to condemn others or to pass judgment but because I never want to welcome it back into my life – ever!
It destroys marriages, children, ministries, friendships, reputations, and so much more.
Not only do I openly share posts on this topic because I saw how destructive the sin was and could’ve been but because the Bible speaks so strongly about it. And truly, that’s all that matters. The Word of God is the ABSOLUTE and ULTIMATE AUTHORITY for us all.
Ladies, we must kill this sin in every area of our lives: TELEVISION, MUSIC, MOVIES, MEDIA, CONVERSATION, THOUGHT LIFE, MAGAZINES, BOOKS, THE WAY WE DRESS, WHERE WE GO, etc.
Yes, it’s going to take work and some things you give up will hurt. Trust me, I have so many tears I’ve cried over giving up areas of this sin that I could fill an Olympic sized pool, lol. By nature, we LOVE our sin but this is what we are now dead to. Christ paid the price for us. And I want to encourage you that as I’ve matured in Jesus, I used to cry over the things I had to give up and those tears have turned into crying over my sin – not the loss of it.
I hate it. I have grown to despise my sinful nature and not just see it as like, “we’re all humans.” This is the evidence of Sanctification, bearing good fruit.
Jesus said concerning lust and adultery:
“If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” — Matthew 5:27-30
The point is not to actually and literally cut your body BUT to take dramatic steps to get rid of whatever it is that is tempting you to sin.
If it’s the TV – get rid of it. If it’s porn, don’t ever be on electronics alone. If it’s flirting with your boss – quit your job. MAKE RADICAL CHOICES TO RID YOURSELF OF THE TEMPTATION OR THE STEPS YOU’VE ALREADY MADE INTO THIS SIN.
My boundaries for these things continue to grow as I do. A new boundary for me is to never speak to a man in a DM or TEXT or anything (NO MATTER HOW INNOCENT). Period. If someone else isn’t apart of the conversation, it shouldn’t be happening. Add your husband to the conversation or a friend if you need to talk. NO PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS.
This is a recipe for disaster, again, even if intentions and actions are completely pure, we MUST be above reproach and this is a new lesson for me but one I will always take seriously now.
I sincerely apologize for not having these boundaries sooner. Honestly, this is another reason I feel passionate about speaking on these things. We’re taught a lot about staying pure before marriage but not so much about how to continue being pure post marriage. Yes, there’s basic rules and understandings we all have but there’s gray areas and they need to be addressed. I want God to use my horrible sins to be used to help encourage women not to make the same choices I made.
Ladies, if you’re reading this and are in the midst of sexual immorality, I am begging you to please go speak to someone trusted. TRUSTED. And repent! Please go to JESUS with this sin. He has already paid for it but you must go to Him with a broken and contrite heart.
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is[b] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
JESUS WILL FORGIVE YOU MY SWEET FRIEND. HE 100% WILL.
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. 9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; 10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. — Psalm 103:8-12
1 There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. Romans 8:1-3a
Believe it sisters. Please. Satan will do EVERYTHING to plant doubt in you. EVERYTHING. But God’s Words are truth. TRUTH. And He has wiped every disgraceful, disgusting, shameful, wicked, wretched thing we’ve ever ever done or will do.
Now, do we continue to sin because of grace? NO!
And we will grow together in Christ.