Why Comparison Is Destroying You

Let me take you back to when the above photo was taken.

11.5 years ago…my wedding weekend.

I’m the second girl in from the left, the bride. The girls around me were my closest friends and most still are today.

The bride.

The happiest weekend of my young life and you want to know what was mostly on my mind?

How I was the bride but I was the biggest girl in my wedding party.

I was very aware that my girlfriends looked better in their bridesmaids dresses than I did in my wedding dress.

They were rocking size 4 dresses while I was stuffed into my size 16.

I didn’t feel like the prettiest girl on my wedding day. I came up short because I compared myself to my friends.


It destroys relationships, moments, opportunities, and your heart.

When we compare ourselves physically, we are really just holding up our image next to someone elses. We then take what society has taught IS beautiful and attractive and assess who has more of those qualities and features.

Who is the more skinny one?

Who has the better skin?

Who has the prettier hair?

The whiter teeth?

The cuter nose?

The better butt?

The bigger boobs?

The nicer clothes?

We compare ourselves to other women and start mentally checking off these questions. We may not even know we’re doing it. But it’s incredibly dangerous.

You’re either making yourself out to be the woman who needs fixing because you lost the check list game. So you feel down, your heart sinks, you feel angry, you feel devalued. OR you won the check list game and you feel good about yourself for a little while because “she” doesn’t measure up to you. Somehow you believe this makes you better, superior.

Truth is…it’s all based on lies.

Being the bigger girl doesn’t make you less and being the skinnier girl doesn’t make you more.

This is a shallow standard that Hollywood and Society has engrained in us and it simply is not true.

My wedding day should have been about me making this amazing commitment to the love of my life but it was full of moments where I felt like the ugly duckling surrounded by my swan of friends.

I allowed comparison to rob me of beauty, fun, and confidence.

If we could really start to believe that smaller is not better and bigger is not worse. If we could understand that all bodies are beautiful and diversity is a wonderful thing. If we could treat ourselves with respect and honor the look and body God created…I think comparison would start to disappear.

If every woman was proud of herself and stopped trying to be as small as she can be…If we encouraged each other to be healthy, which looks different for everyone, and respected diverse beauty, I really really think more women who be living more abundant lives.

Comparison would turn into Celebration.

Don’t allow comparison to destroy or take anything else away from you.

God never asked you to be like “her” or “them”. He created you to be like you and to spend your life learning to be like Him in heart and spirit.

Your looks were specifically created, designed, and crafted for YOU.

You’re a true work of art. One of a kind.

How can someone compare the “Mona Lisa” to the “Girl with the Pearl Earring?”

Both paintings of these women are beautiful in their own unique way.

Same with us.

Let’s work on celebrating others and respecting our own worth.

You’re not in competition with anyone! Remember that.




1 thought on “Why Comparison Is Destroying You

  1. Laurie Boulden says:

    I love this! Being a large woman, I’ve struggled with these thoughts for years.

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