So, the middle picture was taken on May 25th. Two days after this photo was taken I weighed in at 267 lbs.
Even with all my body positive encouragement, I am going to be honest, I cried. I sat on the floor in the bathroom and cried.
I think it was just the feeling of feeling out of control.
Yes, I felt beautiful in my skin but I was quickly creeping up to almost 300 lbs. and I just didn’t know what to do about it.
If you remember me sharing how I was out of breath just playing Pillow Fight for 5 min. with my family…that’s not the mother I want to be and regardless if another woman can be strong and have energy at 300 lbs. I can’t. Being 267 lbs. was hard.
I shared how I got blistering rashes under my belly and how my chronic illness pain was flaring badly.
SO….I went on the Keto diet for almost 8 weeks.
I have lost 34 lbs. So crazy. If I didn’t have a picture of my starting weight on a scale, I may think I was going nuts. But my body responded to the more healthier food options and my choice to get on the treadmill every night.
I have started to receive compliments on how good I am looking and yes, sometimes it does trigger me.
My inner critic thinks: “Oh, so I was worse looking when I was bigger?”
Compliments on weight loss also encourages women and men to keep losing weight, sometimes at any cost.
This was the case years ago when I was bulimic and had lost over 60 lbs. Every compliment I received was motivation to purge my next meal and the next.
I don’t want anyone to be afraid to compliment me but that’s been what’s happening. Even my best friend said “I don’t want to trigger you BUT…you can totally tell a difference.”
I don’t want people to be afraid to tell me what they’re thinking.
I feel like we need more grace for people and where they are at with body acceptance. Not everyone understands how toxic Diet Culture and Society’s Beauty Standards are.
Some people do not know that they could be encouraging an eating disorder when they compliment weight loss.
So, how can you respond when you’re complimented?
“Thank you. I am not concerned with my size but about feeling good from the inside out.”
And that will tell the complimenter where your heart is and why you’re losing weight. I am not losing weight because I hated my 267 lb. body. I fell in love with that body. I am losing weight because that’s what my body is doing naturally while I am making more healthy options.
Remember to be kind. There are a lot of “body positive” bullies out there. They’ll make you feel bad for wanting to pursue health if it involves weight loss and that’s just not right.
I will never be a before picture in the sense that I am better now that I am thinner. I am just as worthy and beautiful as I was 34 lbs. ago but I am able to run longer, I’m sleeping better, and my I.C. symptoms have been so much better!!!
That is worth celebrating!
Do you have a kind way of responding to someone who compliments your weight loss? Let me know below.