I Broke My Fear Of Being FAT

The word FAT triggers people and it used to definitely trigger me.

I was so scared of being seen as FAT.

I would wear slimming clothes, black clothes, and only allow pictures that showed a high angle of my face so that no one could see my…FAT.

Pictures like this…

Oooo la la.

And even though that is me, lol, it’s a very high angle and perfectly positioned photo so that you didn’t see that I really looked like this…

haha…my daughter took this in the very moment where my cat bit me. haha. He loves me, I swear.

But this is reality. I am fat and you know what, I am not even a little bit ashamed, embarrassed, or any other negative adjective you could throw in there.

I don’t know why I ever allowed the lie that “FAT IS BAD” to be my truth.

Fat is just an adjective to describe someone. It means I have extra fatty-fat under my skin. It means that there’s more of me to love. ūüėČ

It is not a bad word. It does not define me as ugly, lazy, gross, or unworthy.

That’s what Society says so that they can continue to sell you products.¬†

I have come so far on this journey. I don’t look in the mirror anymore and hate my body. I love my body.

I don’t see FAT as a bad thing anymore. Not at all.

I have finally accepted the TRUTH that beauty radiates from my heart.

If someone isn’t attracted to me or my body, that’s their OPINION. I’m not sure why I’ve spent so much time worried what other people were going to think about my body. It’s been such a waste of my life.

I have spent so many summers not going swimming and to the beach, making memories, because I was scared of being in a swimsuit in front of people. How stupid.

I have spent so much emotional and mental energy worried about being judged for being bigger. Again, how stupid.

Y’all, my chains have been broken free! I have felt so much freedom the last month that it truly feels like I’m a new person…

or maybe just the authentic me that’s been hiding inside, too insecure to come out.

There’s a weird idea that fat girls shouldn’t be confident or happy or energetic or fashionable.

That is a lie! We need to stop believing these untruths that keep so many of us in bondage.

So, whatever size you are, own it!!!

I believe in being healthy, which is something I am working on: eating better and working out. BUT IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY SIZE OR WEIGHT. I threw out the scale baby!!! I am happy being a size 18 forever, as long as my insides are happy and healthy. ūüôā

And remember, you cannot tell who is healthy and who isn’t based on size. A year ago I had major testing done and all my blood work was perfect. All my organs were looked at (I went through that machine thingy, lol) and all my organs were healthy and fine. So, on paper I am HEALTHY. You can’t look at my 200+ lb. butt and just assume I am not.¬†There are women who are¬†sharing their stories about how when they were thin, they were¬†extremely unhealthy trying to¬†keep up with the¬†skinny culture. Health doesn’t have a size.¬†

Go live your life. Live free my sweet friends. John 10:10.

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